im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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