At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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