They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
