what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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