I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
