I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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