At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
