Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
