Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
