I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
