I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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