And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Someone signed my nipple.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
