Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
