I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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