i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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