oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
