Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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