what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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