Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
