You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize