I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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