just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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