love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
