Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
