you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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