yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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