i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
