But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
