I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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