So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
