A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
