dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
