the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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