Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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