At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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