I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
