Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
