I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
