he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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