I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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