think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
