just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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