she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
