when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
