I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
