I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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