cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
