So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
