ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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