Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
