If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
